I think every leader has had that moment. You’ve raised the same issue more than once. You’ve tried to be clear. You’ve tried to be supportive. And still… nothing changes.
It’s frustrating. It’s awkward. And if we’re honest, it can feel personal.
But over the years—through investigations, coaching leaders, and supporting performance improvement both informally and formally —I’ve learned something important. Most people don’t ignore feedback because they’re difficult. They ignore it because they don’t understand it, don’t agree with it, or don’t know what to do with it.
So when someone isn’t taking feedback on board, try shifting the approach. Instead of pushing harder, I bring them into the process.
Here’s how I do it (and coach it!).
Start talking with them
When feedback isn’t landing, repeating it again and again doesn’t help. Instead, we should pause and ask:
What’s your understanding of the issue from your perspective?”
Their answer can reveal the gap between what I said and what they’ve actually heard - there are always two perspectives on every conversation, and its important you know where the person is at.
Sometimes the employee genuinely didn’t realise there was a problem. Sometimes they misunderstood the impact or the “why”. Sometimes they disagree entirely. But until we know which one we are dealing with, we can’t move forward.
Explore the barriers—not the excuses
If someone hasn’t taken previous feedback on board, there’s a reason.
Skill?
Confidence?
Workload?
Systems?
Clarity?
Something happening outside work?
Ask: “What’s getting in the way of you being able to do this consistently?”
This isn’t about letting people off the hook. It’s about identifying the real obstacle so we can remove it—or plan around it.
I shift the conversation to shared problem‑solving
This is the turning point.
Instead of telling them what the solution to the problem is, ask them:
“What do you think would help you improve this?”
“What would good look like from your point of view?”
“What support do you need from me?”
When employees help design the solution, three things happen:
- They take ownership
- They feel respected
- They’re more likely to follow through
It moves the conversation from compliance to collaboration. It can help set shared goals towards improvement where the person gets involved wants to achieve the outcome.
Check in regularly—without micromanaging
People don’t improve because we set goals. They improve because we stay engaged.
Schedule short, structured check‑ins:
- What’s working?
- What’s still challenging?
- What support is needed?
- What progress have we seen?
These conversations keep momentum going and prevent surprises later.
Stay consistent, calm, and courageous
Performance conversations can be uncomfortable. But avoiding them doesn’t help anyone.
Being consistent and calm, and having meaningful conversations around improvement, signals fairness, clarity, and accountability—three things every workplace needs.
The truth is… most people want to do well
In my experience, when someone finally “gets it,” it’s rarely because we delivered the perfect speech. It’s because we:
- Actively Listened
- Clarified
- Collaborated
- Stayed engaged
Performance improvement isn’t about catching people out.
It’s about giving them every reasonable opportunity to succeed—and involving them in the solution from the start.
Performance Improvement 101 - a new course designed to approach performance conversations with confidence
Informal conversations are almost always the best place to start when it comes to performance improvement. A simple, early conversation can prevent issues from escalating, rebuild clarity, and give someone the chance to turn things around before it becomes formal.
But sometimes, despite your best efforts, those early steps aren’t enough — and that’s where leaders often feel unsure, under‑supported, or worried about “getting it wrong.”
That’s exactly why we’ve developed Performance Improvement 101, a brand‑new course designed to support People Leaders to properly manage, design, and implement a fair, structured, and defensible Performance Improvement Plan (PIP).
This course goes deeper than the basics.
It gives leaders the tools, confidence, and clarity to:
• Address performance issues early and constructively
• Set meaningful, measurable goals
• Design a PIP that is fair, transparent, and sets employees up for success not failure
• Support employees through the process with dignity
• Make defensible decisions when improvement doesn’t occur
I’m passionate about helping businesses achieve fairer, and more productive performance improvement outcomes — and I want to help leaders feel confident, capable, and supported when navigating these conversations.
If you want to strengthen your performance management capability, reduce risk, and build a culture of clarity and accountability, Performance Improvement 101 is a great place to start. Performance Improvement 101 – Industrial Relations Learning
Until next time,
Susie Weston, Industrial Relations Learning
